I know it’s been a really long time since I have updated this blog. As with many things, the pandemic hit, and my usual routine was disrupted, so I got out of the habit of writing. I have been into what I consider to be a new normal for awhile, but just never took the time to pick it back up. Lately the weight of Elijah’s autism feels as though it’s been weighing more heavily on me. I remembered writing about it was helpful. I decided it was time.
I don’t want to spend much time recapping the past 10 months, because I want to write about what we are experiencing in the present, but because it has been so long, I need to tie up a few loose ends from where I left off before. So, as of last March, we were still waiting on the school psychological services department to respond to our submission of Elijah’s autism diagnosis, which we had submitted to them in December for 2019 when we received it. Everything shut down in March. We heard absolutely nothing the entire time the schools were closed for the pandemic. But, Elijah did well. Not having to actually go to school eliminated most of the major issues Elijah was having at the time. So, fast forward to August, right before school reopened. The school corporation decided to accept the autism diagnosis instead of re-evaluating him on their own since we had already been waiting so long. He qualified for special education services under the category of “other health impairment” since intellectually he is in the average or above average range. We had an IEP meeting, and he began receiving special education services to help with task completion of his schoolwork immediately, as well as a whole list of accommodations. In October, we had another IEP meeting and added more time receiving special education services. In November, we met again and added speech, with a focus on social interaction issues. In a nutshell, he has had an awesome year. He is getting the support he needs. He has a great special education teacher, as well classroom teacher. He is completing grade level work with good grades. The school has been very accommodating and I feel very blessed. I have heard a lot of horror stories about IEP meetings and schools not following IEPs and refusing to accommodate, but I can say this has not been our experience at all. Everyone has been very supportive of making sure Elijah gets what he needs to do well. I no longer dread each day that I send him off to school, waiting for a call or message about something else that has happened. They know what to do if something starts trigger him, and they are handling it very well. Very few times have I received news that he was not able to be redirected by the supports he has in place and that he was extremely difficult. He has a support system there of people who have figured out what he needs to do well. My anxiety level about his school experience has dropped significantly. I used to be in constant worry throughout the day, always wondering if he was okay, always waiting for that call that he wasn’t. Now, I actually don’t even think much about him being there while I am at work. I can fully focus on my own job again because I know that he is in good hands and he is getting the help he needs.
So, things are going well, supports are in place at school, everything is fine, right? Well, not exactly. And that brings me to the topic that caused me to start writing again. Even when your child has the support he or she needs, parenting someone with autism is hard. Parenting anyone is hard, but add autism/ ADHD, and there is an added level of difficulty that is frankly pretty difficult to understand unless you have lived it. Then, add the fact that I have a second child, one who is no less deserving of my love and attention. Sometimes I hate to even mention that it’s hard. I know there are others dealing with so many things that are so much more difficult. I know it could be worse. So, I feel like I should just not say anything. I am always afraid of sounding like a whiner or complainer, so then I just don’t talk about it. But, the truth is, it’s exhausting. So many things that should be a simple matter are anything but simple in our household. Things must be done a certain way, and that certain way can suddenly change at any moment to a new “certain way,” that we are not always prepared to deal with on a moment’s notice. Then, there is the lack of understanding the feelings of others, causing a lack of concern for how we might feel when things don’t go his way and it’s “our fault.” And there are so many irrational ideas all the time, so many things that make absolutely no sense to us, and there is no reasoning with him about them. And, this is just a small list, the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. So, over the coming weeks, I plan to start writing about each of them. I want to try to give some perspective on what it feels like. I am sure there are a few people who may come across this page and are dealing with the same types of things. Maybe they will find some comfort in knowing they are not alone. This is not an easy task for any of us. There is no “right way” to raise an autistic child, and figuring out the best way to do it for your family is something we can all learn from sharing our experiences with each other.
Comments
Post a Comment